


how we love in the early morning light

by Daoine_Sidhe



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Character Study, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28989105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daoine_Sidhe/pseuds/Daoine_Sidhe
Summary: Nyx loves his boyfriend and he knows Noctis loves him, but sometimes he thinks he could have known Noctis his whole life and still find himself being surprised by him.
Relationships: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Nyx Ulric
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	how we love in the early morning light

The rain pelted lazily against his apartment's windows, covering the room and, no doubt, the entire district, in a solemn, lethargic mood. Weather like this practically required you to spend the entire day in bed, no matter what plans you'd made or meetings you had to attend, and it was the only thing Nyx had seen that had the power to make the Gahlad district quiet, and content to be that way.

Nyx wasn't really thinking about the district, though. No, his mind was right here, captured by the contents of his little apartment. Or, more specifically, of its occupant.

Noctis' breathing was deep and even, the smooth draws of breath caressing the skin at Nyx's neck. His little prince was content to indulge in the drowsy mood of today's weather and, had Nyx never had the pleasure of being in Noctis' company when his boyfriend was asleep, he'd probably think him so right now. Still, Noctis wasn't quite relaxed enough to be fully asleep, and the gentle drag of his fingers across the skin of Nyx's stomach where his shirt had ridden up cleared his mind of any doubts.

A surge of warmth rose up in his chest and Nyx shifted to curl his arms tighter around Noctis.

He wished they could stay like this forever, him and Noctis. Him and his sweet, beautiful prince. He'd never be able to properly tell Noctis just how much days like this meant to him, just the two of them curled up together in bed, innocently intimate. 

They rarely got days like this together, Nyx usually busy with his duties as a glaive and Noctis infinitely busier with his duties as prince. Between their two ever-disagreeing schedules and the little fact that their relationship was a secret and would remain that way for as long as they could keep it, time spent together - _without_ the need to keep a veil of professionalism and formal distance up between them - was rare and precious.

Maybe he shouldn't be thinking about this, then. Maybe he should just enjoy the time he had and settle down for a nap with Noctis instead, but . . .

It was just one question. Just a little thing that had been eating away at his curiosity for a little while now. It probably wasn't even that big of a deal - he was worrying about stupid things for no reason.

But maybe he wasn't.

He had to ask.

"I've been wondering something for a while now," Nyx murmured, his hand gliding lazily through Noctis' silky hair.

Noctis hummed.

"Why d'you like my apartment so much? We hardly ever meet at yours. You embarrassed by me?"

Nyx had only meant it as a joke, really, but immediately, Noctis tensed and sat up, glaring down at him. "Don't joke about stuff like that," he commanded, voice backed with solid steel.

Nyx smiled and pressed a kiss against the corner of his mouth. "Sorry."

Noctis scrutinized him for a moment before relaxing, laying back down to take up his previous position on Nyx's chest. "I'm not embarrassed by you," he said after a moment. "And I don't want to hide you, either."

Noctis' fingers began gliding back and forth across the skin where Nyx's shirt had ridden up. "But the apartment thing . . ." He made a gently frustrated noise, like he wasn't quite sure how to explain. "Do you know why I wanted to get an apartment away from the Citadel?"

"Not really," Nyx admitted. "Guess I assumed it was something to do with you wanting to go to a school in the city. You've mentioned before that you don't really like the people in the Citadel, either."

Noctis hummed. "You're on the right track, at least." He sighed. "There's . . . no peace in the Citadel. Not between all the lessons and training and duties. Top that off with the stuffy council members and nobles who always look at me with disdain, well-" he shrugged- "I guess I've always wanted a place I could go to get away."

"And that's why you got your own apartment in the city?"

Noctis was silent for a long moment. "Partly."

"Partly? What was the other reason? Or reasons?"

Noctis nuzzled his face into the crook of Nyx's neck. "The Citadel . . . you've been there. The whole place is covered in spotless, gleaming marble. The walls are lined with beautiful paintings and portraits and the hallways are littered with priceless statues and works of art. There's never a single thing out of place - you should see how much money we spend on maintenance just in a month."

"More than I make in a year?" Nyx joked.

Noctis snorted. "Try a decade."

"Ouch."

"Uh-huh. Anyway, the whole place is like that, no matter where you go. There's no . . . There's no personality there. There's nothing that makes the place feel _lived in_ , y'know? When I was a kid - before I learned proper control - I used to use my magic accidentally all the time. I'd set my drapes on fire when I had a bad dream or I'd cover my room in frost when I wanted to see the snow. I'd shock people when they touched me without warning. I'd made a mess of my rooms so many times as a kid and yet . . . you'd never know it, if you saw it. When I was like, twelve or so, I got a bit fed up with it all. Tried to make my room as messy as possible to get the maids to give up on cleaning it. Never worked. All I wanted was the place to feel . . . _mine._ For my room to actually feel like it _belonged_ to someone. Not just another spotless bedroom out of countless others in the whole of the impersonal Citadel.

"That was a big reason I wanted an apartment in the city. My dad thought it was me wanting to be more independent, and that wasn't wrong, I guess, but . . ."

"But it wasn't the whole story, either," Nyx finished. "I understand. To be honest, I've noticed what you said about the Citadel. It _is_ impersonal. Libs hates it, naturally. I think it's all just a bit cold. But what about your apartment, little star? Surely you managed to make it yours? I have been there once or twice. I can see your influence inside of it."

"Yeah," Noctis sighed. "It's better. Hands down, I'd choose my apartment over my rooms in the Citadel any day, but . . . It's still not . . ." He trailed off, a bit of frustration creeping into his tone.

Nyx curled further around him, gliding one hand softly across Noctis' back. "Not what, beautiful?"

Noctis curled further around him in response. "It's not _mine._ I . . . I can put up posters or set up a console to play games. I can pick up a plant or two to put inside and I can fill the closet with my clothes, but . . . everything else . . . You know I'm not even the one who keeps the pantry stocked?" Noctis let out a sad, helpless little huff. "I didn't get to choose any of the furniture and I can't even _leave a mess_ in my apartment because Ignis is there 'round the clock and always, _always_ picks up when he's there, even when I tell him to leave it."

Noctis buried his head further into the crook of Nyx's neck. "It's . . . It's _crazy._ You know, the only thing I feel like I've _really_ changed in that apartment is the smell."

Despite the mood, Nyx let out a surprised bark of laughter. "The smell? What does that mean? You burn your food one too many times and now the smell's stuck?"

Nyx could feel a small smile pressed against his skin. 

"No, no," Noctis denied. "Nothing like that. It just - it smells like lavender and polish."

"Ah."

"It didn't smell like much at all when I first moved in. It smelled stale, like . . . like something new. It's better now. The Citadel always smells like nothing with just a faint hint of the cleaning supplies that're used en mass. What's it called - Altissian Waves, maybe? I think that's the scent."

Nyx chuckled. "Pretty sure that's not a real scent."

Noctis huffed. "It's not. I'm half convinced they use unscented stuff and I've just deluded myself into thinking there's something in the air."

Nyx let out a few huffs of soft laughter.

"You're apartment, though . . . maybe it's a bit small or dingy, but . . . I can feel _you_ in every inch of it. The burn marks in your kitchen from where you had that 'brilliant idea' to use magic to cook that one time. The dirty boots you keep by the door that you keep forgetting to clean. The handmade blanket by the armchair you told me the lady a few doors down gave you when you first moved in. It's all . . . It's all _you,_ Nyx. This place . . . it feels like a home. More than anywhere I've stayed before. It's . . . It's comforting in a way I can't really explain. Relaxing."

Noctis shifted. "Does that answer your question?"

Nyx nodded and moved one hand to the back of Noctis' head so he could pull his boyfriend in closer. "It does. Thank you for telling me."

Noctis shrugged but leaned into Nyx's embrace. "You asked," he murmured, sounding like he was starting to drift off now that their conversation was over. "'Sides, I couldn't let you . . . think I wanted to . . . hide you . . ."

Noctis' breathing evened out and his body lost its last traces of tension as he fell asleep.

Nyx continued to hold Noctis close, fingers drifting lazily across the scar-ridden skin on his back.

He felt a bit foolish now, for thinking that Noctis was embarrassed about dating Nyx, a lowly Gahladian immigrant. It was an insult to Noctis, who had proven time and again that he didn't much care for status or titles. It was stupid, too, because Nyx knew that they couldn't be public anyways. Whether Noctis cared about status or not, he was still the prince, and being in an open relationship with anyone, never mind an _older, Gahladian immigrant_ who _worked for his father_ , was just inviting trouble for the both of them. If the truth about their relationship hit the public, then Noctis' reputation would no doubt be thrown into the mud and Nyx would probably receive several accusations about taking advantage of the prince.

He should've known there was more to it when Noctis showed a preference for meeting Nyx at his apartment instead of inviting him over to his. Noctis wore an impeccable mask of easy-going indifference, but he never, _never_ did anything without a serious reason and his quiet nature that he hid behind a veil of laziness and near-apathy did an excellent job of helping him fade into the background. Noctis noticed a lot, and he never did anything without thinking it through first, even if it didn't seem like it at the time.

He _also_ had a really bad habit of never talking about himself. At least never talking about anything _important_ about himself. Nyx couldn't necessarily complain - there was a lot of heavy stuff about himself and his past that he didn't really talk about, either, but he wasn't anywhere near as bad about it as Noctis. If something was bothering Noctis, unless you caught him in a lie or could visibly _see_ what was bothering him, then you weren't likely to ever realize anything was wrong in the first place. Nyx liked to think he was a pretty observant guy, but it had still taken him a couple months of knowing Noctis before he realized there was a difference between Noctis being quiet simply because he was a quiet guy, Noctis being quiet because he was thinking about something - or, in most cases, several somethings - and Noctis being quiet because he was _stuck_ thinking about something. And Noctis would always, _always_ try to brush it off when Nyx asked him about it.

Nyx had let him, when they first knew each other. Back when they were still just a glaive and the prince and then when they were friends and even at the very start of their relationship. They didn't technically know each other that well at that point and Nyx had figured that if Noctis wanted to talk about it then he would. 

Oh, how very wrong he was.

Noctis would take whatever was bothering him to the grave, if Nyx let him, and Nyx _still_ cursed his own stupidity for not realizing back then just how much Noctis bottled up. To be fair to himself, he had assumed that, even if Noctis didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering him with Nyx, then he would still tell his friends, but no. Noctis wouldn't. Noctis _didn't._ For whatever reason, Noctis didn't confide in _anyone_ and he made it very, very difficult to tell when he _needed_ someone to confide in.

At least Nyx had a secret weapon. Noctis had confessed that he felt more at ease around Nyx, especially when it was just the two of them, and Nyx had always been able to get him to relax by holding him close and pressing a million soft kisses into his skin. He could admit that he enjoyed the way it made Noctis practically melt against him. And if Noctis was a little more willing to admit to whatever was bothering him when Nyx did that, well . . . that was just a happy bonus.

Still, Nyx wished he could do more. As his boyfriend and as a glaive, Nyx could only do so much. He could listen and he could comfort and he could give advice, but so many of Noctis' problems were related to his status as prince. He had so many duties to attend to and people to please, Nyx knew he was drowning in it and it was killing Nyx to not be able to help. He wanted to be able to go to those stuffy council members and tell them off for looking down on Noctis, for doubting his abilities both as a prince and a future king. Hell, he wanted to go to the king and tell _him_ off for neglecting Noctis and for putting the weight of the world on his boyfriend's pale shoulders. He wanted to be someone who could protect Noctis instead of being someone who could only soothe his wounds.

As a glaive, Nyx was expected to give his body and his life for his king and country, but as a _person_ Nyx wished he could give it all to Noctis.


End file.
